Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Christmas Lurgy

It’s been dubbed “The Christmas Lurgy” – at least by Facebook users anyway, and as lurgies go, it’s a good one! Not quite flu – but more than a cold. So much more. Starting with incessant sneezing, a totally congested head rendering logical thought impossible, it morphs into a constant hacking cough that keeps the sufferer and everyone in the local vicinity awake all night. People keep telling me it’s flu – but I’ve heard so many people say they’ve had a flu jab but still had it. Whatever it is, I’m well into week three now – and it’s certainly taken the shine of Christmas.

Three weeks ago I wouldn’t have thought that possible. An early Christmas present arrived - my course result for AA310 (Film and TV History). Not spectacular in itself, but it was my last course towards my BA (Hons) in Humanities with English Language. I then had a lovely (pre-lurgy) week with a flurry of activity – booking the degree ceremony, receiving lots of congratulations cards and messages, and I did something I promised myself I’d do when I finally achieved my goal – I ordered an OU scarf. I was hoping it would make me look intelligent. Somehow it would have super powers so that when I looked at myself in the mirror I wouldn’t see the rebellious disruptive schoolgirl expelled, more years ago that I care to reveal, after a vodka incident.

The scarf is certainly warm – great for those trips to the chemist for tissues, lemon drinks and cough medicine. It did strike me the other day however, as the medicine shelves were almost empty (although not as empty as Woolworths shelves) – that Boots, Superdrug, Lloyds and all the other chemists must be doing very well out of this. The cynic in me wonders if these viruses are released into the wild on purpose, perhaps by the chemists to keep themselves in business – or by the government to keep our minds off the credit crunch.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Plans

Things rarely go to plan – that’s when I bother to make plans. I much prefer spontaneity. Sometimes though, plans are a necessity. Christmas is quite possibly my busiest time at work. It’s very tense there at the moment. Everyone is running round like headless chickens. There was a massive argument over some purple soap. The staff room is full of bin-sacks of toys and books and Tombola drums, and you can’t move for tinsel. I’ve spent most of this week making calendars, painting a giant mixing bowl, making an online advent calendar, and creating an old-fashioned sign that says “The Bethlehem Inn”. All typical pre-Christmas primary school stuff, and the stresses that come from organising a Christmas fair and nativity plays at the same time as some virus takes out the angels and shepherds one by one.

Knowing the deadline for my End of Course Assessment came right in the middle of all this, I thought I’d get on top of it and get it sent off early. I finally whittled my photographs down to the required 10 chosen ones (no doubt rejecting any that were any good in the process). I had just started on the written work when my son rang me up to tell me he is joining the army. This was a bit unexpected to say the least, and quite distracting. No sooner had I got over that shock, and my twins had the type of argument you only usually witness on Tricia or Jeremy Kyle, or sometimes at weddings. Suddenly I was living in a war zone – but one where I couldn’t take sides. In the middle of that, my daughter’s puppy decided to remove his harness by chewing through it. I then had to go and buy a new harness.

Eventually though, somehow the End of Course Assessment got written and sent off, and I now find myself in ‘course limbo’ where I am wandering around looking for something to do. I am really going to have to find another course after Christmas. If not, I might have to tackle the ironing.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Patience...

If patience is a virtue, clearly then, I am not very virtuous. That’s fine with me – virtuous does sound like it might be a bit boring. Impatience, however, is perhaps a curse. Birthdays, Christmas Day, and of course results day, bring out the worst in me. It all boils down to the fact that I hate surprises. I like to know what presents are before I open them. I am the person who sits by the Christmas tree, constantly rearranging presents, poking and feeling them, and if I had an X-ray machine I would be using it. Quite often I will simply put myself out of my mystery by sneakily opening the present and re-wrapping, happy then to know there will be no shocks on Christmas morning when I might accidentally do the wrong face when I open it. Silly really, because if there is a present I really hate, then the person really won’t know – and maybe they will carry on buying me stuff I don’t like. But I would rather that than people think that I am ungrateful. Usually though, ignoring the cardigan I had a couple of years ago which was so immense my son and daughter-in-law could both fit into it at the same time with room to spare, the presents people buy me are lovely. Especially now my husband has got over his novelty clock obsession.

But this time of year is torture for me. Not only am I crossing the days off till Christmas and my Birthday which is in January, it’s results week. The message has been up on my student home page for weeks now. 12th December. Or rather “by 12th December”. That could mean 11th. What it definitely means is that for the last week I have been checking on the hour every hour in the day time. I haven’t yet resorted to getting up in the middle of the night. Yet.

I know I could wait till Friday and log-on then, but it’s just like the oddly shaped present I’ve had from my mother-in-law that feels like it might be chocolate, but smells a bit like soap. I need to KNOW now. If the result is a nasty shock rather than a lovely surprise, I need to be able to adopt the stoic face that suggests I knew all along I made a pig’s ear of the exam, and anyway, I’d just love the chance to re-sit the exam and spend another couple of months revising. Sadly though, the reality is, I am not THAT good an actress.