Lurking about in a forum recently, I came across a heated “discussion” about mortar boards. No one seemed prepared to sit on the fence on this issue. Half the contributors were outraged that OU don’t ‘do’ mortar boards at their graduation ceremonies. The others were relieved. I belong to the latter group, mainly because I look like a prat in a hat. I’m too short, I’ve got the wrong bone structure, plus I’ve got the sort of hair that instantly moulds to the shape of a hat. Weddings were a nightmare until fascinators - those delightfully frivolous feathery affairs – became ‘the thing’.
Yet despite recognising that they do look quite imposing on photographs, I have a very good reason for being anti-mortar board. My daughter graduated last year from a Uni that does ‘do’ mortarboards, and yes – she looked great, and it was a proud moment. But, being a short girl, she was on the front row of the group photo. After what seemed like an hour of the photographer and his megaphone-wielding assistant arranging the students, it was 1 – 2 – 3 hats in the air… click! And the photo was done.
Some of the students however didn’t so much toss their headgear into the air as launch it into orbit, and as the daughter was mid-throw looking up, one crash-landed on the bridge of her nose, making a sickening cracking noise, leaving her looking dazed, with an evil swollen purple bruise developing that lasted for two weeks, and leaving me wondering what would be an appropriately sensitive time-lapse before I sent the video-clip in to ‘You’ve Been framed’ to claim my £250.
I’ve heard people ridicule the banning of these ‘up in the air’ shots – but if anyone you know is in such a photo, tell them to keep theirs firmly on their head for protection and whatever they do, don’t look up!
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