Support (1)

When I was first contemplating doing a course, I read all the stuff about support at home – and I laughed. I knew then that it would never be forthcoming. The husband would not be interested, but I thought he’d just let me get on with it. What I didn’t expect was the ‘anti-support’ and just how obstructive he would be. The way he waits until I am deeply engrossed in reading or writing something, then he will find something totally trivial and pointless to say. He distracts me so that I have to stop what I am doing – but once he’s distracted me and has my full attention, he shuts up. I wait a while, expecting another inane comment, I start writing – and off he goes again. Last week he felt compelled to tell me he’d bought 100 teabags for £1. Little things like that annoy me, plus his need for constant background noise which conflicts with my need for total silence. He has to have the television on if he is in, even when not watching it – then he will flick through every channel watching 5 minutes of each programme he finds. If he just stuck to one programme and the noise was constant, I would eventually be able to block it out. But not channel hopping. There is no escape either. If I give up and go upstairs, he seems to turn the TV up much louder – so that I don’t miss anything. Eventually I do have to admit defeat. I realise he is perhaps lonely, or feeling neglected, so I go down to try and engage him in conversation. Then, of course, I get the silent treatment. I can’t win.